Live TV – who needs all the hassle?

Many of you are probably still talking about that Super Bowl accident, when Janet Jackson’s breast was revealed on live television for a few seconds. This supposed “accident” is sending shockwaves throughout the TV industry, and the consequences are already affecting us all.

To some viewers, this alleged “wardrobe malfunction” may seem trivial, even hardly noticeable, but the aftershock is still shaking the board of directors of every mega-corporation of the United States. Some of the industry’s most beloved entertainment conglomerates, like CBS, MTV and NFL are under fire from the FCC, the modern day’s Big Brother. And, to be honest, they deserve the scrutiny.

Just consider this for a minute: a family gets together with all the kids, relatives and even some neighbours to spend a few hours enjoying one of TV’s best events of the year – the Super Bowl. It’s all about the sports, the spirit, the sponsors (forgive the alliteration, couldn’t resist). They’re looking forward to the unbelievable gravity-defying stunts, last-second scores, brand-new barrage of quirky ads, and, of course, the half-time show. Really, it’s the best way to spend a Sunday afternoon and evening. It’s an all-American tradition that came to a screeching halt when Janet’s breast was exposed for a few seconds for all to see. Millions of households gasped in horror. The children… The children will be scarred for life. The women are still trying to find their self-esteem and dignity, and the men… Well, let’s just say we know whom to blame on the sudden divorce rate jump in the country.

Naturally, the FCC has immediately opened an investigation into this scandalous and offensive act. They are looking for people to blame and rest assured, they will find them. Meanwhile, CBS has made a smart decision to ward off future investigations and embarrasments. They announced (LINK HERE) that their upcoming Grammys will be broadcast from a tape, with a delay, to censor out all the unwanted language and visuals. It’s about time.

What good did it ever do, that “live television”? There’s always some technical glitch here and there; somebody’s microphone gets outta control; people cannot get a hold of their emotions and say terrible things to express how they feel… It’s not entertainment. It’s a hassle – trying to ignore the bad camera angles, the sudden obstructions, and unrehearsed speeches. What we need is pre-planned, pre-taped, pre-approved shows, all around the clock. The upcoming Grammys are finally going to be watchable, if the CBS really will stick to their decision, and cut out all the “bad” parts.

Because, frankly, I’ve had enough of women kissing (MTV Awards), men kissing (Tony Awards), drunk announcers and presenters (Golden Globes), and of course, bare breasts on Sunday evening (Super Bowl). It’s really tiresome, and I’m looking forward to a clean and cozy show that will feature the world’s loudest rockers, sluttiest pop princesses, and edgiest rappers. Only without all the smut.

Just one tiny recommendation to the CBS – if you’re openly backing down and censoring a show that’s been known for its unpredictability, and notoriety, why not go all the way and pre-tape everything – the news, the election results, the presidential addresses? Why risk losing your audience and show them something that might offend them? Instead, tape all your shows in advance, quickly send them off to FCC for approval (I’m sure the church and congress will want to be in that loop), and then kick back and play it for the masses, knowing that no complaints will follow, and no investigations will open. They’ll love you for it.

Thanks for playing it safe, CBS. I only wish the other networks realized what kind of smut they’re broadcasting, and allowed their shows to be butchered like that, all in the name of clean, family entertainment. Here’s hoping…