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F... Box Office: Movie Reviews

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Movie Reviews Stardust (2007)

stardustThis is such a wonderful misfire of a movie, that despite all its flaws and weaknesses, it must be seen. Absolutely must be seen - both on the big and small screen. A fairy-tale for grown-ups, but nothing like Shrek or Ratatouille. Released in the peak of Summer, even though it's got so much romance, it's a better fir during the holidays or on Valentine's. This film is actually aimed at grown-ups, but is comes from such a rickety universe, you have to leave a lot of hang-ups at the door, otherwise the movie will fall apart in ten minutes. And you really, really want to sit through the whole thing. read more...


Movie Reviews Live Free or Die Hard (2007)

die hard"Yippee-kai-yey, motherf..." That was the big promo that popped up on the side of buses, above highway ramps, along the roads. Yes, that familiar, comforting, even melancholy phrase from the blockbuster 1988 film was used to promote the 4th movie in the series. It was a cool promo, an interesting way to appeal to seasoned fans of Jonh McClane, as well as new audience. As soon as I first saw that poster, I had to go see John kick some ass. Little did I know at the time that the famous phrase really does get cut off, much like in the poster. You see, in order to get more people into seats the movie was cut - after being filmed - to get a PG 13 rating. Along with the cuts, as you excepted, went excessive violence, mature language and whatever else that kids are not allowed to see these days. The worst part is that decision was made after the film was done, leaving plenty of good ol' action footage somewhere on the editing room floor. Bad move. Really bad move. read more...


Movie Reviews Ratatouille (2007)

ratatouilleA computer-animated cartoon about a cooking rat who's trying to make it big in a swanky Paris culinary industry? Wow, how high were the people who came up with this ridiculous idea? And how brave were the producers who greenlighted this project, and put up resources for this film? And then, when time came to promote and market the movie, just how much fighting went on behind the scenes over the title of the movie - Ratatouille? These things I need to know. An unusual concept, an expensive project, and an awkward title - so many things that can easily sink a film, and yet nobody budged. Nobody dumbed down the idea or changed the main characters from rats to ... maybe dogs. I assume there are dogs in Paris, some maybe are aspiring chefs, but a rat... It taked a lot of balls to see a project like that through, and I admire the person who stuck to it. read more...


Movie Reviews July show premieres - fill up your TIVOs

Hey everyone. Still recovering from that shocking ending of episode 3 of Rescue Me? So are we? Wandering why the 4400 seems to be re-starting the series, and bringing old twists and subplots into the latest season? Maybe it's the popularity of superheroes (that new NBC's show, remember?) that guides their writing. Ready for some more new shows this summer? How about a few old favourites like Monk and Psych? Here's your July schedule. Cable TV channels are no longer the only players in the "summer launch" game. Seems the major networks are catching on as well. See if any of these shows will catch up now and become big, popular shows in the fall.

Here's your July premiere schedule. read more...



Movie Reviews NBC's fresh and freshly-killed shows

Wow, did NBC take a dive with overhauled "Raines" hourlong. When I saw the early pilot of the show, it looked quirky, even too smart for television. What you could easily confuse with a Medium rip-off, turned out to be more tongue-in-cheek, more realistic, and yet, had more humour and life. Well, that was the pilot, starring Luis Guzman, and presenting Jeff Goldblum as an odd, conflicted, well-read, and grounded detective. read more...


Movie Reviews 300 (2007)

300Oh, the silent beauty of a strong, muscular body. Whether it's male or female, it's always a beautiful sight, especially if presented well, with confidence and taste. After all, just like the character in that old Mel Brooks film (later to be remade into a musical, and back into film) - "if you've got it, flaunt it". The sports industry and the fashion industry are all built on that single premise - good, appealing looks. So what's wrong with a movie celebrating good, healthy bodies? Especially if it's disguised as a historical drama. Apparently, there's plenty wrong with it. You've read all the previews and reviews of Zack Snyder's adaptation of Frank Miller's graphic novel (a fancy new-age title for "comic book"), 300. Almost every one of these reviews reeks of homophobia - calling the movie "macho", "homoerotic", "exploitative", and so on. What's wrong with scantily -clad men, fighting side by side, dripping sweat and blood all over corpses? Visually stunning - yes, but homoerotic - no. This is Sparta. Or, in the words of Leonidas, the main character - THIS IS SPARTA!!! read more...


Movie Reviews Babel (2006)

babelLast year's everyone's favourite movie - a winner of many awards, nominated for dozens more, is Babel really that good? We've had our share of undeserved award-hype in the past - Brokeback Mountain, Shakespeare in Love, so does Babel fill the same over-hyped shoes, or is it actually worth watching? Well, if you are not intimidated by subtitles, huge cast and intertwining plotlines - you will enjoy this film. The imagery and morals might be a little too heavy, but then again, a project that spans multiple cultures and languages will not translate as poetically as intended. Babel is heavy, but so are its themes. Last year's Crash is very similar - it touched on subjects that are very difficult to resolve - only illuminate. And it's during that illumination that you start seeing people in the audience disagree. But, at least they're talking about something of substance. As opposed to say "The Devil Wears Prada" - an entertaining and moving film about nothing. read more...


Movie Reviews The Departed (2006)

departedSometimes, when you put a whole bunch of male actors on the screen, you get drama magic. From 12 Angry Men, to Glengarry Glen Ross, to The Thing, to The Great Escape, the right combination of despair and testosterone will give you fantastic movie moments, filled with memorable quotes, crackling silences, and often-imitated facial expressions. But, you have to have your formula right. Too often, an all-male cast is lost in a heavy plot, or distracted by unnecessary effects. The Departed is a focused, plot-driven cop drama - and altough Martin Scorcese's fans will argue differently, it's a movie well worth your time and money. Even for a remake of Hong-Kong's Infernal Affairs, The Departed is fresh, and energetic, keeping you involved until the very last scene. So why all the criticism? read more...


Movie Reviews Pan's Labyrinth (2006)

pans labyrinthThis wonderful film is only now getting well-deserved attention, and I'm partly to blame. When I attended its premiere in Toronto Film Fest in 2006, I was blown away. Having seen Guillermo Del Toro's other recent movies - Hellboy, Blade 2 and Mimic, I was expecting something that was lacking, unfinished. Del Toro's work has always struck me as impressive, well-produced tales that always fell short on something. With Mimic, it was unusual casting (although thanks for F Murray Abraham - haven't seen him in anything decent lately), and slow pace. In Hellboy, it was too many special effects - personally I would have loved to get more story and fewer chases. In Blade 2 ... actually that still rates as the best Blade film, can't find any fault in that. In everything I've seen there was this insane attention to detail and decorations. Whether it was computer-generated or real, these rooms/costumes/castles/vistas were mindnumbing and beautiful, sometime taking me out of the picture altogether. I never saw The Devil's Backbone (some say it's a prelude to Pan's Labyrinth), and decided to watch the former before reviewing the latter. Well, five months later, the movie is finally getting its audience, and I'm trying to play catch-up. read more...


Movie Reviews Happy Feet (2006)

happy feetWhat is it about environment-conscious movies that immediately receives the wrath of (unabashedly biased or handsomely paid) critics? Whether it's a politically-charged documentary from Al Gore (An Inconvenient Truth), a sci-fi whaf-if blockbuster from Wolfgang Peterson (The Day After Tomorrow), or an earnest kid-friendly film about cute penguins - any time the dire state of environment is mentioned -- it immediately gets discarded as lies, filthy lies and bogus opinions? First of all, there's so much more in these films besides an ecology message. But just the dismissal itself is unbelievably frustrating - exactly what kind of money is being thrown on so-called critics to make anything environment-oriented go away? And why do we keep believing these "reviews"? I didn't see Happy Feet precisely because of that negative publicity. I heard one too many angry outbursts about the movie's eco-friendly message, and skipped it over the holidays. As you might expect, the movie is so much more than that, and it's a shame people are being scared away from theaters because a movie might contain an unpopular (in what circles) theme. A real shame. read more...


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